My Last Time in Vegas, Part 1

I dubbed this trip "the harmonic convergence" because several key things had to happen for me to go: 1) my room had to be free, 2) some of my meals would have to be cheap/free, 3) my airfare had to be cheap, 4) I couldn't burn too many vacation days and (most importantly) 5) my wife and mother of my six-month old baby girl had to let me go solo!

Items 1, 2 and 4 were taken care of by an invite to a VP tourney at Bally's, which included $50 in food vouchers and occurred after Labor Day, meaning I could go out on Monday and not miss a day of work (incidentally, I chose Paris for my hotel). Item 3 was taken care of by cheaptickets.com, which got me a flight out (from Philly) on Frontier and back on Continental for a mere $250. Item 5 was finally taken care of by my lovely wife, who saw how excited I was by all this and gave her blessing.

Labor Day (aka. "the big day") finally arrived. I got up dark-n-early, at 4:30 am. I had to be at a nearby hotel at 5:15 am to catch the shuttle for my flight out at 7:20 am. I got to the airport in plenty of time, only to get yelled at by security for not pulling my zip-loc bag o' toiletries out prior to the x-ray machine. Ooops! I then got flagged for a 'reach in foul', as I tried to retrieve my sneaker from the conveyer belt a little too early for their tastes. Sheesh, did they ever consider that not everyone who takes the first flight out is a true 'morning person'? I made it to my gate and have zero idea how I passed the time. Boarding the plane was a snap; it was only 2/3 full. Someone got on the horn and encouraged us to move if we could find a better seat, so I found one in an exit row (I'm 6'2"). Frontier is a nice airline; you can watch Direct TV for a mere $5. Or you could sleep for free, like I did. We landed in Denver on time and the mission became 'kill TWO hours'. I did laps around the inside of the terminal for a while, but soon grew weary of that. I settled in at the gate with a copy of the latest Colorado Rockies program (Frontier is the official team airline). Being somewhat of a baseball nut, I milked that program for all it was worth. You may laugh, but if we're ever in a keeper fantasy league together and I end up with 'future Rockies star' Seth Smith, well, I'LL be the one laughing! It was finally time to board and my seat was on the right side of the plane. This was key b/c I had a great view of the Strip upon landing. Let me tell you, Project: City Center still looks HUGE from the plane; that place is gonna be SWEET!

We parked at Terminal D, which meant a quick trip through their.... subway?... to get to the main terminal. Harrah's aiprort check-in was right at the bottom of the escalator, so I went in and scored a P room on the 11th floor! No coupon sheet, but I rectified that at the Paris front desk later that evening. Psyched, I made my way to the taxi area, told the guy "Paris, but don't take the tunnel" and soon I was on my way! I had a great driver; I told him I was in town for a VP tourney and he told me how he recently won $6K in a slot tourney at Fremont. We chatted about 'locals casinos' and impressed him with my plan to visit the Orleans and the Gold Coast. On the way to Paris, we passed by that defunct nightclub, Ice, and we joked about the 'reality show' on Spike TV that chronicled its rise and the beginning of its downfall.

Finding the elevators at Paris was a tad annoying for a first-timer like myself, but soon I was on the 11th floor and grinning ear to ear as I walked waaaaaaaaay down the hallway towards my P room. It was definitely worth the walk! One window overlooked the pool and the Eiffel Tower and the Bellagio fountains were to the right. The other window faced Bally's, but the fountains were to the left. I quickly unpacked and began my trek to Ellis Island for some steak (on the previous trip with my wife, we drove over there 'round 11 pm or so but the wait was too long). I thought I'd be 'slick' and walk down the road that my taxi had driven up, then across those lots and be at EI pretty quickly, but all those fences forced me to do the trek the way I should've (out Bally's sportsbook, down Flamingo, right at Koval), only OUTSIDE! No matter, EI has air-conditioning and soon I was sitting at the right bar (after first going up to the wrong bar where you can't get food), where I learned that yes, I could ORDER food there but the 'tender couldn't SERVE it to me, so I'd have to pick it up behind the hostess stand. Considering how far I had already travelled that day just to enjoy the steak special, a short walk over to the stand seemed like a small price to pay! I orderred a light micro-beer and played a bit of 8/5 JOB while I waited. I was up $3.75 when my salad was ready so I picked it up and relocated to the left side of the bar where there were no machines to gum up with dressing. Soon after that, my steak was ready and it did NOT disappoint! I still don't know how I finished it, but I did and I gave the 'tender a 10 to cover the bill (he also cashed my TITO). Since I wasn't given a placemat with a match-play on it, I decided to just leave and begin my monorail journey.

I got on at Bally's and my first stop was the LV Hilton; I wanted to see what I could score with my "Destination Club" card that I got at Resorts in AC. Sadly, the answer was 'nothing', but hey, it didn't hurt to ask! I found the 9/6 JOB quarter machines by the sportsbook and after confirming that, yes Virginia, the area DID have a cocktail waitress, I started playing (note: I also found NICKEL 9/6 JOB in/near the SpaceQuest casino). Soon I had a Miller Lite in hand and I was up $10, so I cashed out and hit the sportsbook. I learned earlier that Bally's was giving 40-1 odds on the Dolphins making the Super Bowl, but was curious if the Hilton could beat it. I'm not a Dolphins fan by any means, but once I saw I could get 50-1 at the Hilton, I had no problems putting my $10 in profit on them. My reasoning? Their head coach is the guy who made stars out of Ladanian Tomlinson, Antonio Gates and Phillip Rivers, so I figured he could maybe do the same with Ronnie Brown, Trent Green and... whatever their TE is called. Plus they should have a decent D. (Editor's note: they lost today).

Blackjack's Unwritten Rules

I started playing blackjack in 2004 (an Atlantic City trip report I may write someday) based mainly on the writings of ESPN’s Bill Simmons, aka ‘The Sports Guy’, back when he was funny. Prior to the trip, I taught myself basic strategy by purchasing some software for my PC and playing it until most of the strategy became second nature. Neither this game nor Bill Simmons, however, could teach me the ‘unwritten rules of blackjack’. Okay, in retrospect, I probably could’ve Googled it, had I known they existed. Heck, I could Google it right now, but then a) I wouldn’t have an article to write or b) my article would clearly be biased by what I’ve read. So, when you’re done reading, feel free to add your own in the comments, but if you think I missed something obvious, now you know why.

General Play

1. When joining a game mid-shoe, it never hurts to ask the players already in the game if you can join.
2. If you are dealt a double-down opportunity, it is perfectly acceptable to double your bet by moving your chips into position before it is your turn. There is a slim chance that the dealer has a 10 up card and turns over an Ace, but any good dealer will return your second bet to you while taking your first. Naturally you wouldn’t do this if the dealer was showing an Ace.
3. I don’t think there’s any situation where you’d split 5s, but a dealer must ask you if you want to double or split them. Since casinos are noisy (that is why there are hand signals, of course!), you can hold your index finger up, like a 1, meaning ‘1 card’, which is all you get when you double.
4. When the first round of cards are dealt, it is nice to wish any players that their Aces become blackjacks/naturals by lightly banging/tapping the table in their direction and saying “Good luck on your Ace”.
5. It’s obvious that you can touch your chips after you get paid for a win and normally the dealer takes your chips as soon as you lose. But what about a push? As I learned the hard way, DO NOT touch your chips until the dealer gets to your position and bangs/taps the felt in front of you to signal ‘push’ to the ‘eye in the sky’.

Tipping

1. There are two main ways to tip your dealer: 1) slide a chip into the ‘dealer zone’, that nebulous area best described as “around the insurance line”; a comment like “that’s for you” should convey the message and 2) make a bet for the dealer by placing your chip(s) near your betting stack, akin to the Moon orbiting the Earth.
2. In the event of a push, I usually but not always remember to ask the dealer what he/she prefers. Most often, they’ll ‘let it ride’. I don’t think I’ve had anyone take the tip on a push.
3. True story: my first or second time playing, a player to my left, during the betting portion, reached over and put singles/whites ‘in orbit’ around all our bets. I had no idea what she was doing. It was only when we all won and I went to take the money that I learned she was tipping the dealer on all our hands. I have never seen this since.
4. When coloring up at the end of a session, if I don’t think I’ve tipped enough, I try to remember to keep a red (or two) to the side so it’s not included in the coloring. That way I’m not digging in my wallet for some small bills after being handed a stack of greens and blacks.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!